The Book of the Party Animal by Dan DiSorbo

Author:Dan DiSorbo
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2013-08-02T16:00:00+00:00

“As long as you behave well and are willing to dance, people are okay with you at a party.”

—Bill Murray (on crashing parties)

How to De-stink a Party Pad

A post-party odor can best be described as combination of stale beer, old smoke, ass with hints of BO, wet dog, and plain old stank. And while a Party Animal has a soft spot in her heart for the funk, it has no place in her place the morning after. Here are some quick and cheap suggestions to de-funk in a pinch.

AIR IT OUT

Cracking the windows is the first step to removing the ass-crack smell. Before you do anything else, place one window fan blowing out and another blowing in to create a de-stinking crosswind.

VINEGA-GRRRR

Funny how this fermented juice is so effective at combating the mess left by drinking fermented juices. Dilute white vinegar with water and use it to wash down floors, walls, and passed-out friends. Even put out a bowl to just evaporate in the air.

BAKING SODA

Shake this other white powder all over your place. Carpet, furniture, even clothing. Let it sit for a few hours–or even a day. Vacuum it out, repeat, and begin to breathe easier.

PRETTY BALLS

A nice finishing touch is to use a few drops of vanilla extract on some cotton balls and scatter them around the house. The sweet, innocent smell makes the sin just float away.

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